September 2006

Leadership and Change
by Jim Valenti

"What you are speaks so loudly, I cannot hear what you say."
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Change is inevitable. The only constant to change is that things will change. When circumstances change drastically and unexpectedly, our actions and messages supporting them must change just as dramatically.

At Delta-4 we encourage individuals and teams to embrace change. We fully understand that change is one of the top 6 greatest fears for all humans and that we do not easily embrace the concept. No one is a stranger to change. It visits us daily. It’s challenge is so consuming of our lives that few have the luxury of contemplating its size or speed.

One of the primary reasons we fail to institute change in ourselves or others is that we define the situation inaccurately. We see someone resisting our attempt to change them. This view results in significantly different consequences from one that focuses on the other person’s resistance. The real problem is our failure to acknowledge that person’s needs.

Our problem in getting others to change is not that they refuse to change. Our problem is that we have yet to figure out how to make the change appear to be in the other person’s best interest.

Focusing on what people need rather than on why they need it will create problems for us and for the people we’re trying to change. Anger and frustration emerge because what we need is not what they need. Once we settle on a position we begin to defend it and so do they.

Focusing on the position rather than the rationale behind it quickly moves the situation from a potential win for everyone to a lose for everyone.

So, what’s the fix? We must understand that humans buy benefits or the “What does it do for me?” concept. Maybe, we should try developing a new frame of mind versus trying to change someone. Instead of focusing on what we’re trying to get them to do, start focusing on “What does it do for me?” We should focus on the benefits they’ll derive and the advantages they’ll experience.

Remember, we must provide reasons for change that makes sense to the person you are trying to change. Create a "What are the consequences of not changing?" atmosphere. People will change when they believe and feel it is in their best interest to do so, because people find it difficult to abandon any investment in money, love, time, effort or commitment.

In dealing with the world of change remember this final quote:

“There is only one thing more painful than learning by experience: That is not learning from experience.”
Archibald MacLeish